ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something.
It landed. Enjoy that. It's the last thing this week that will.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The sun will eventually swallow the Earth. Until then, the bins still go out…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Not all who wander are lost. You are. The map gave up.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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