ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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