ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.
The printer has better job security.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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