ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your soft launch was a hand in a photo.
The hard launch never came. The hand has since soft-launched someone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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