ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- You are a brief arrangement of atoms that learned to worry about emails.
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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