ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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