ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The pothole is on the list. The list is dynamic. The pothole is permanent.
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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