ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The spark never fades.
It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint funeral plan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- The pothole is on the list. The list is dynamic. The pothole is permanent.
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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