ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 10 JULY 1969
You said you're "built different".
You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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