ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're not getting older.
You're getting closer. That's worse.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You started a podcast with your mate “for a laugh”. Episode 31 has nine…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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