ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Listen to your body.
It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been asking for eleven years.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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