ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've "been meaning to" for three years.
The thing you meant to do has since been invented, finished and replaced by AI.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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