ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your soulmate is out there.
Currently leaving someone better on read.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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