ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 29 JANUARY 1976
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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