ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Abs are made in the kitchen.
So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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