ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 13 AUGUST 1979
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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