ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands.
It will be the most productive minute of the quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good. The studio has a…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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