ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good.
The studio has a 100% chance of your money.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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