ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious.
Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it to Tuesday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Your partner says they'd be lost without you. They'd be lost for about eighteen…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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