ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch.
Quiet budgeting is going anyway, checking your balance in the car and moving retirement to 79.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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