ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You "work best under pressure".
You don't. You just only work under pressure.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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