ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world.
Your overdraft found it first. It's been compounding you since 2017.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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