ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands.
It will be the most productive minute of the quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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