ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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