ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You got a houseplant to "take care of something".
It died. Even the plant had better boundaries than you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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