ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought.
It renews automatically. So does the guilt.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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