ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
A good night out now means home by ten.
Nobody had to come and get you. Nobody offered.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You put "open to work" on LinkedIn. Six recruiters viewed your profile. Five were…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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