ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "in your villain era".
You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times. Villains have done less damage at a christening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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