ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call yourself "a bit of a foodie".
You've ordered the same chicken 64 times this year. The driver knows your dog's name.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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