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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION THURSDAY, 13 JANUARY 2000
Every parent has a favourite child.
It's whichever one isn't currently talking.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
  2. You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
  3. Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
  4. Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
  5. You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
  6. The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
  7. You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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