ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped to the bar.
You replied in four minutes. That's the part he was counting on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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