ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 15 JANUARY 2000
2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees are getting different memos now, mostly from a specialist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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