ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English language.
Then they renamed it. The sentence survived.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Clear-coding means stating your intentions up front. Hers was "I have a hard stop…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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