ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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