ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your soft launch was a hand in a photo.
The hard launch never came. The hand has since soft-launched someone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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