ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Love is patient.
Your partner is not, and has started a note on their phone called "Evidence".
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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