ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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