ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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