ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands.
It will be the most productive minute of the quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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