ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
- Monday is a core collaboration day. As, it turns out, is every day ending…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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