ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees are getting different memos now, mostly from a specialist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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