ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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