ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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