ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 25 APRIL 2008
You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend.
You took a photo of grass, posted it, and checked how many people liked the grass.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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