ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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