ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Inside every older person is a younger person.
The younger person is furious about the knees.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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