ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams
than you've had about anything since 2011.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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