ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The in-office lunch is optional.
The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is writing down who didn't come. Then who did, but looked replaceable.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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