ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care.
It's been delivered. It's been read. It is now the most caring thing anyone has ever ignored.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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