ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 5 SEPTEMBER 2019
Mondays aren't so bad.
They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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